Special Living Lessons for Relief Society Sisters
by Laurie Mecham Johnson

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Patter from the R. S. President of
P. P. P. P. S. 4th W.
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Volume one Issue five

Welcome

[p.24]For those among us who are here today, we do wish to welcome you unto our Relief Society. I would like to stress the importance of Regularity in all things. Insistent attendance at Relief Society will prevent you from losing grip on the spirit.

Many Thanks

word processorSisters, I would like unto call of your attention unto the beautiful apparance of our newsletter this week. I am grateful unto Sister DeLete who has made her really neat Word Processor available unto me that our Relief Society News will be worthy and of good report. Many thanks unto Sister DeLete, and I hope I will do better with the Ward Processor that I did with the Food Processor in the kitchen at Homemaking last March! (And if anyone has not gotten me their dry cleaning, please do so; I did not mean to offend you.)

Visitors

I forgot unto welcome Sister DiVan’s sister who was with us last week, and so I would like to return and extend the back hand of fellowship unto her.

[p.25]And if you are visiting with us this week and we do not know of it, please tell us of your pretense.

Excuses

I could not come up with any excuses.

Special Womanly Values

I am sorry that this section is missing, but I seem to have lost my values this week.

Thought For The Week

Sisters, whenever I am down and feel like I am sitting on a great weight, it helps me to think of sacred hymns and scared music. But sometimes inspiration can come from different quarters. As I was riding in the elevator within the Church Office Building Downtown this week, I heard a song in which was new to me. And the larynx struck me, leaving a deep impression in my head. I jotted them down, that I might share them with you because I just do think that this song speaks of the prosecution in which all members of the church must face at one time or nother:

Well, they shall stone you when you are trying t’ be so good,
And they will stone you just like they said they would.
They will stone you when you are trying to go home,
And they will stone you when you liveth all alone.
But ye should not feel so alla-lone,
For everybody must get stoned.

Lesson

Today’s lesson will be, “Home & Family Control Lesson Number 23,” entitled, “Providing Teens with Parental Morals.” And Sisters, we must do everything in our power unto protect our children from those who would bring them into bazaar lifestyles. There are many voices around us, telling our youth that “alternating lifestyles are O.K., that they can associate with whoever they want to or get unauthorized support. Schools should have more healthy activities like drama and ladies’ softball. We should encourage our children to bring all of their friends to Seminary where they can learn first-hand the dangers of recruitment.

Announcemence

[p.26]Special Homemaking Meeting Announcement:mothers

Sisters, Mother’s Day is just around the corners. Our mothers are so precious unto us, yet as the years go by we hardly recognize them. So, as it has been a tradition in our Ward on Mother’s Day, the Priesthood will once again be giving our Gabemothers their just desertion in Sacrament meeting, presenting each mother with a precious hand-maid gift. And once again, the Brethren have asked the Relief Society to make these gifts. So, we’ll just have a special supplemental Homemaking work meeting, and if we all just come a little earlier and work extra harder (Tuesday at 6:30 a.m.) and really pitch in, then we can help to serve the Priesthood in this way. (And Sisters, please do be sure to bring along forty cents for materials.)

Home Making Meeting This Week!

—Sister Dixie Decree, Little League Coach and mother of 12, will be teaching us a armnew parenting method called, “Hang Your Head And Learn.” And this is the new shame-based parenting technique in which has been developed by church [p.27]and military leaders.

weights—We will also be having something that’s just neat for our less active sisters. (Of course, I mean physically inactive). Anyways, it’s going to be kind of a new exercise program, somewhat based upon the step aerobics you may have seen, but except we call ours “Pedestal Aerobics.” So if you wish to participate, you need to bring unto Homemaking two jars of canned fruit for weights and an eight-to-ten inch pedestal from your husband. I think it will be exciting. Sister Decry will lead us: “STEP down, STEP down!” Hopefully, this will help us tone up our Dreaded Relief Society arms. (I mean the arms are dreadful, of course, not the Relief Society.)

—And speaking of our Tabernacles of the Flesh, we do ask of you to continue emitting your recipes for the Parley P. Pratt Park South Fourth Ward’s “Potatoes And Pastries” recipe book. (I have been trying out these [p.28]wonderful potatorecipes on my family and I can assure you that they will be passed on to MY posterior!)

¤ Sisters, if you wish unto participate in any of these Homemaking activities, we ask that you do sign the sheet as weword strips pass the roll around because we have had a little problem with beloved yet unwelcome sisters crashing Homemaking Meetings and then running shorts of materials.

Tips For R. S. Teachers:

You can get ahead start on preparing for your lesson if you keep a library of word strips and masking tape loops.

OUR TIP FOR THE ORDINARY SISTERS
THIS WEEK IS.

“Dealing With Adversity”:

[p.29]As a housewife, you may find that you occasionally have more Month than Money. When your household needs a boost, consider holding a Yard Sale. (You can Unclutter your house and make some “mad money” while getting rid of unwanted items.)

yard sale