Special Living Lessons for Relief Society Sisters
by Laurie Mecham Johnson


Ponderings from the President of the
P. P. P. P. S. 4th W. R. S.

Volume one Issue six

[p.30]Dear Sistern,

Yes, perhaps you have noticed that the name of the newsletter has been changing. I have been doing so to try to reflect herein the severe spirit in which will preserve dignity and order in the Church.

cherriesThought For The Week

The most important thing in life for members of the Church is to:


Remember—When Life hands you lemons, make lemon Jell-O!


We are just so excited unto have our own Sister DeFrock back visiting with us for today as a regular Ward member. As she has not been with us for a few weeks, I have been asked unto announce that she does not need to be fellowshipped, for she is not that kind of Investigator.


From now on, Our EXCUSES will be broken down.


—Sister DeFile, who is traveling on another exciting business trip with her boss! (He sure keeps her bones a-jumping!).


—Sister Deepak will not be leaving to visit with her children until her children can decide which one of them will take her on.


Our Relief Society Birthday Luncheon keeps coming up. Those who will serve upon the Luncheon Committee compromise the following:

[p.31]Sister Della DiRect will Heads Up the Committee.

Sister Donna DiLute is coordinating recipes with ingredients.

Sister Ditzi DeCaf will serve as Word of Wisdom Monitor.

Sisters Daisy DeBauch and DiReen DiGeste are to prepare food and drink.

Sister Daffnee Decor will be in charge of centerpieces.

Sister Dusti DeCon is going to head the cleanup crew.fertility

Special Womanly Values

We have a new value in which we will add unto our list, and so, remember, our Special Womanly Values are:

—Number One.
Eternal Fragrance.

—Number Two.
Diligent Exfoliation.

And now,
—Number Three.
Abundant Fertility.


 Weekly Warning

Sisters, I have an update on a question that was asked. You may remember that some Sisters had asked if we [p.32]could have Sister Decollete, who is a nurse, come unto Homemaking and help us learn how to examine—just for health purposes only—our chests. And, of course, there was concern that this might not be appropriate and so we asked the Brethren several times and we have finally got an answer back and they have said that it would be okay as long as it is not pleasant. (Please do not be offended by this delicate announcement.)

NOTE: We will be certain to schedule this for our weekday Homemaking Meeting, as the Brethren have been determined that such Female activities are not appropriate for Sunday meetings.

raise your hand

Births, Callings, Deaths And Other Tragedies

We wish unto welcome the special little spirits who have come to receive [p.33]a tabernacle of flesh in which they may enjoy the burdens of this earthly existence:

—Brother and Sister Desdemona have welcomed a new little daughter who is to be named Helvetica Bold.

—And we are especially proud that Bishop Lackluster and Lois have a new little baby boy who will be distinguished by the name of Y. Purvis Lackluster in this mortal coil.

Now, Sisters, I would like unto introduce a new segway for this, our Newsletter, to whit, a weekly question and answer. This is like unto “The Ensign” and their “I Have a Question,” accept of course ours is called “WHY DO YOU ASK?” Anyways, the question that submerged from a Sister this week is as follows:

—“If by accident I wear my garments inside out, will I suck harm unto myself?”

—“Ask your husband and follow his counsel.”

Visiting Teacher Message

After having unto bear countless Visiting Teacher messages on Depression, I think it is just a relief that this month’s message is on a different topic.static

[p.34]I think it’s just near that the Visiting Teacher Message this month is Achieving Personal Piece. As an addendron unto this lesson, I would like unto share something that might make the lesson more fun. As you visit each Sistern in her home, try sharing this activity. It’s called a “Guiding Imagery” and it’s purpose is to help you find your inner child. (For those of you who are expecting, this should be really fun!) And though I have not actually precipitated in this myself, it sounds very familiar unto something I have done in the Nursery where I have actually taught lots of inward children. So, I would just ask that you follow these instructions:

—Guide the Sisters through an imaginary journey. Create a vivid landscape, helping them visulate a beautiful, safe place in which they can find their inside child.

—Have the sisters rest their hands on your lap. Tell them unto relax deeply. Have them close their eyes and just breathe in through their mouth and out through their throat.

—Lead the sisters in the beginning of a gentle rhythm by patting your palms upon your upturned thighs.

—Start this little chant where you will begin and then the sisters echo your words:



Leader (yelling a little louder): “GONNA FIND MY INNER CHILD!


child inside you—Now, try a narration some as what follows: “And first, we’re running across a big field. Here we go!” (Slap hands harder and louder on thighs.)

—Continue in this fashion, leading the Sisters through some beautiful, safe, tall, grass, across a beautiful, safe, river, and you could even leave them up a tree if you wanted to, and, with the right sound affectations, they will think that they are actually getting somewhere. One trick is to have the Sisters picture a beautiful, safe animal. For some reason, this helps people find their inside child. (Warning—stay away from farm animals!)

—Finally, you will lead them down a beautiful, safe path where there is a child. Try this narration: “See that beautiful, safe child? Do you know who that is? That’s you! That is you as an inside child! That’s you when you were little. You’re very sad, aren’t you? Oh, Yes, you are! Because [p.35]your parents were mean to you as a child and they hurt your selfextreme. Yes, they did. You need to hug that child inside you, so do that.” (It is important to make sure that they really pretend unto hug. If they hesitate, just tell them to cooperate or you will leave them there. Then continue the narration.) “Just hug, hug, hug that little child. Now you’re all better! But, there are two other kids there with you and they are really sad because you have a toy that they want to play with. Do you know who those other two children are? They are your Mom and Dad as inside children! And the toy that you have is a little red wagon.” (Make sure that everyone pretends unto see a wagon.) “This is the ‘Wagon of Forgiveness.’ Now, can you just give your little Mom and Dad a ride in the Wagon of Forgiveness?”

—After they have gone through all this, you should let them take a deep breath. Everyone should feel lots better, unless you did it wrong. (I really like this exorcise. I think we should do it a lot.)


Tip For Relief Society Teachers:

[p.36]Keep the Sisters’ attention spun by involving class members in the lesson.

This Week’s regular TIP is another one on

[P.37]For those Relief Society Sisters who are regular:
When your child’s wedding isn’t in the Temple, just—


Stuff Your Upper Lip and Put on a Happy Face!
Create a Celestial Environment, Whatever the Place!

(Cute little rhymes always make tragedies more cheerful.)

cheerful tragedy